Parent Advocates – Buyer Beware

This is our first post of the blog and we’d like to take this opportunity to give a strong warning to parents. This warning is in regards to so-called “Parent Advocates” or misc. “Consultants”.  These people are all around in the parent choice/parent help field.

These people have hidden agendas! Think about it. If they are offering a “free consultation” or they tell you they are just there to help – there is probably something they aren’t telling you. This could be that they receive referral fees from various youth programs, schools, treatment centers, etc. Or they could receive a referral fee/commission for a certain product they are trying to push. It’s always wise to ask them what is in it for them, but they may simply not be upfront. Dig deeper. Do the research. Get the facts before you do business with anyone in the parent help field. 

There are so many options for parents these days. If you search the web for anything teen problem related you’ll find a wide variety of options – mainly centered on youth programs, schools, centers, etc.  These are not one size fits all options. We recommend family therapy of counseling for your teen individually before sending your teen to one of these options. 

When doing research on a “Parent Advocate”, “Parent Coach”, or “Consultant” you should ask the following:

1. How are you getting compensated for your time? NO ONE WORKS FOR FREE (maybe one exception – through volunteer work at non-profit centers). Beware of anyone who claims to be working on your behalf, but you don’t pay them for anything. What is their motivation to work for you? Could it be payment from someone else – sounds like their working for the person who pays the bill!

2. What are your credentials? How can someone make a life-changing recommendation regarding your parent/teen relationship without having some type of education in the medical or social work field? Don’t accept the following credentials: “I’m a parent”, “I went through the same situation”, “I’m an education consultant”, ETC.  Ed consultants are not “parent consultants” – that’s why we have therapists who are licensed through state standards.  It might be tempting to work through a “parent advocate” who has been in the same situation because they talk a good story – your situation is not like theirs and many times they will tailor their story to sound more like your story to build trust with you. 

3.  Always check the background of this person. Do searches on the internet – search their name in google. Are they surrounded by controversy? There is probably a reason.  Check it out and ask them about it, but beware of the answer you’ll get.

***If you do a search on the web – do they have multiple websites/multiple blogs??? If they do – you have to ask yourself why they have so many? What are they trying to hide? There is a new method called “splogging” this is where people have many blogs with tons of pages all interlinked to inflate search ranking of sites. They do this to bury bad press and controversy from other search engines. Why would anyone need more than one blog? Why would anyone need more than one website? EXACTLY!!! They don’t – it’s deceptive.

A word about “Parent Coaches” – these people are in most cases – unlicensed people looking to charge you an hourly rate for their service. Beware of the recommendation they make if it’s related to a product or other service – some get backdoor deals from providers who pay them a commission on a sale or placement. This is unethical. Ask them and then ask the provider of the product/service if they get compensated.  See if the story matches up.  Coaches are not therapists and should not be relied on as such.

If you’re looking on this site then you’ve probably seen these parent help sites offering programs, parent advocates offering a free consultation (who may or may not be selling a book on their site), parent resource sites, and ed consultants who offer services. This article applies to all of them. Do the research – get the facts.

You may need program/school for your teen to get a change in behavior for long term success, but do so only after discussion with a licensed/credentialed person.  They might give solutions such as behavior charts, parenting contracts, parent coaching/seminars, etc. These recommendations could save you time and money and might be as effective if executed properly.

Please just be careful who you accept advice from with regards to parenting. We will not give advice other than consult with a local and licensed professional. That’s really the only person qualified – someone who has met and talked with you and your teen and really knows what’s going on.